


Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away, The

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Episode Tag, Episode: s07e21 Institutional Memory, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-03
Updated: 2009-01-03
Packaged: 2019-05-30 12:44:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15096992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: CJ and Danny experience tragedy.





	Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: Deals with difficult subject matter.  


* * *

"I just wanna see ya," Danny says in his sweetest voice to CJ over the phone.

 

"Danny, I'm completely swamped today. What about tomorrow?" CJ shakes her head as she checks her next appointment on her computer calendar in the office. 

 

"Fourteen days, CJ. Fourteen days and you'll be on a two month sabbatical before you begin to set up the Hollis Foundation." Danny feels the need to remind her and himself that they've almost crossed the finish line. It's so close he can almost taste it. He pushes around a few grocery bags on his kitchen counter. He had finished his stint at the Washington Post and would also be taking an extended vacation before starting Josiah Bartlet's biography. The President had called him in for a meeting the previous day and spoke to Danny about penning his memoirs. He and CJ had agreed to take some time after Santos is sworn in to figure out exactly how to start their life together. But he already feels better that he and CJ had had a discussion about their future. They by no means have it all resolved, but he knows that they'll figure it out together.

 

"I know. I can't wait. But I need to get back to work so I can actually get home by midnight tonight. We're still dealing with this budget crap. Why don't you make us reservations for tomorrow around eight?" CJ stares at Gail swimming idly in her bowl and has to smile. Two days ago she had no idea what her future would hold when she walks out the gates of Pennsylvania Avenue for good, but now she knows that at least she will have her job running the Hollis Foundation and she and Danny are going to attempt to build some kind of life together.

 

"Sounds good. Say g'night to my fish. Take care of yourself, CJ." Danny's playful mirth can be heard through the line.

 

"Goodnight, Freak-Boy." CJ sets the phone on the receiver and suddenly experiences a sharp pain in her abdomen,

 

"CJ, Kate's here for you." Margaret's voice could be heard through the intercom.

 

"Um, yeah, send her in," CJ replies lowly.

 

"The Chinese and Russians…" Kate pauses when she walks in the room and finds CJ holding her stomach. "Are you okay?"

 

"Huh?" CJ glances up and stares at Kate quizzically.

 

"You're white as a sheet. What's wrong?" Kate asks concernedly, her face contorted.

 

"I just had a stomach pain or something. I'm fine." CJ stands and walks over to the couch to talk with Kate. " You were saying something about the Russians and the Chinese?"

 

"Yeah, we’ve got a problem in Kazakhstan." Kate plops down on the couch beside CJ.

 

• * *

"I've got some yogurt," Margaret announces, walking into CJ's open office. 

 

"Margaret, you're not my mother or wife, can you please lay off trying to feed me?" CJ sighs in irritation. She couldn't sleep last night due to the intermittently occurring pain in her abdomen, and things haven't progressed this morning. She's tried taking antacids and pain killers, to no avail. 

 

"Sorry. I just thought it looked like you could use something. I'll go back to my desk. You've got a call with Harold Fox in ten minutes." Margaret reluctantly steps back into the outer-office, thinking that this job had taken a toll on CJ's health like it had to Leo. She's concerned for the other woman's health. She tells herself that in thirteen days, it will no longer be CJ's domain.

 

CJ attempts to digest her briefing book before her intelligence briefing that morning, but she's beginning to get bleary eyed and suddenly everything becomes blurry around her. She tries to collect herself by stepping forward a few feet, but the whole scene goes black and the last thing she feels is her head hitting the ground with a hearty thud.

• * *  
Danny rushes down the halls of George Washington University Hospital, desperate to get to the woman he loves. He had received a call from the First Lady to inform him that CJ had been sent to the hospital after she fainted at the office. He immediately got in his car and sped to the hospital.

 

"Danny!" A familiar voice calls from inside a private waiting room where two Secret Service agents stand watch.

 

"Mrs. Bartlet. Thanks for calling. How…how is she?" Danny gasps to regain his breath after running from his car. He enters the room and stands awkwardly next to the First Lady.

 

Abbey's face turns grave. " She's just getting out of surgery. Why don't you sit down with me?"

 

"What's wrong with her?" Danny inquires hurriedly, removing his winter jacket.

 

Abbey isn't entirely sure how much detail she should reveal to Danny, not knowing what CJ's wishes would be. She decides he has a right to know. "Danny, it's not good news. She's having a laparoscopy to remove an ectopic pregnancy. We don't think she knew anything about it because her medical records indicate she hadn't been to see a physician in over a year. I'm so sorry you had to find out this way." Abbey lays a comforting hand on Danny's shoulder, her motherly and doctor instincts taking over.

 

Danny's face registers shock, hurt and concern. " CJ…CJ was pregnant and she didn't know? She was…having a baby?"

 

Abbey nods sadly. " The embryo formed in her fallopian tube instead of the uterus. When the embryo begins to grow the body begins to abort it. She was bleeding extensively when the paramedics brought her here, so she's in surgery to minimize the internal damage."

 

"Oh my God," Danny cries, his voice hardly above a whisper. He's absolutely stunned and close to crying. He sucks in a large gulp of air and releases slowly. "Is she gonna be okay?"

 

Abbey manages a weak smile. "She's gonna be fine, dear. I talked to the doctors and surgeon and they're more than qualified to deal with this. But she's not going to be back at work for a while. She'll be down for a little while. When she's out of surgery, someone has to tell her what's going on. I have a lot of experience with bedside manner, so if you like I can tell her calmly. But I know you two are sort of together now and I didn't know If you wanted to do it. It's completely up to you."

 

"Yeah, I guess I'll do it. There was…there was no way to save the baby, was there?" Danny imagines it is a long shot, but he has to ask. Somewhere in this hospital, he had just lost a life he had help create. He had never fathered a baby before. 

 

Abbey frowns empathetically. " No, I'm sorry. In these cases the embryo can't survive the first trimester. But, the good news is that CJ could some day still conceive a healthy baby. I don't know if that was in your plans but..."

 

Danny shakes his head. " No. We hadn't discussed children or anything. We only recently decided we wanted to have a relationship. I don't know how CJ feels about kids."

 

"Well, the possibility is still there if you want it," Abbey tells him hopefully.

 

"CJ is forty-four. Is it even safe?" It had been a long time since Danny had thought about having children, but the idea of having a family with CJ was suddenly very appealing. He thoroughly enjoyed his sister's young kids and used to dream of having children himself, but his journalist lifestyle had never really permitted him to settle down. He decides not to get his hopes up after the tragedy that is taking place. After all, he doesn't even know if CJ would want a baby assuming that she could get pregnant again. He's all of a sudden filled with an onslaught of questions.

 

"Women can deliver safely well into their forties now with adequate medical attention," Abbey says positively.

 

"Excuse me." A tall ,skinny white-haired man in a long white coat approaches them. 

 

"Ted, this is Daniel Concannon, CJ's…well…significant other." Abbey awkwardly introduces Danny to the surgeon and the two men shake hands.

 

Danny sets aside his discomfort and questions the doctor immediately. "How is she?"

 

The stoic doctor speaks evenly. "Ms. Cregg is out of surgery. Everything went successfully and we were able to stop the bleeding. She'll need a few days to recover, but she's going to be fine. You can see her if you like, but she's incredibly groggy from the anaesthetic. "

 

"Why don't you go in, Danny?" I'll see her in a while." Abbey gives Danny an encouraging squeeze on his shoulder.

• * *  
Danny has to catch his breath at the sight of CJ's frail body lying limply in the hospital bed. Sobs choke his voice and hot tears threaten to stain his cheek. He can't believe what her body has had to go through today. He sends up a silent prayer for God to look after them now. Once he gains some composure, Danny slowly pads across the sterile room to CJ's bedside. He can't believe she's been carrying his baby for weeks and neither of them knew. He gently circles her wrist with his thumb, wanting to feel her pulse, wanting to know that she would indeed be all right and return to him in her former health. 

 

CJ's lips part with a groan and her eyes flicker in pain.

 

"CJ? It's me, Danny. You're okay. You're at GW hospital." Danny speaks softly and tenderly, not wanting to frighten CJ more than she probably already is.

 

"What…what happened?"CJ forces her eyelids open and her gaze finds Danny's concerned eyes. 

 

"Just take it easy," Danny soothes, rubbing her arm comfortingly. "You collapsed at work so Margaret called the Secret Service and they and an ambulance brought you here. Mrs. Bartlet is waiting in the waiting room out there." 

 

"I…I had some stomach pain earlier…What…what caused it?" CJ racks her fuzzy brain for memories of the day. She feels so heavy and foggy.

 

Danny licks his lips and inhales sharply. He doesn't want to have to disclose what happened to CJ, but realizes it is his responsibility right now. In fact, it's his fault she's at the hospital in the first place. "CJ, you…you were about six weeks pregnant, but the embryo formed in your fallopian tube so…so your body was beginning to abort it…and so you fainted and started to bleed. The doctors…they did a laparoscopy to remove the…the…"

 

CJ's mouth falls agape. " Oh, my God." She is stricken stunned with surprise. "I…I had no…no idea." 

 

Danny nods in understanding. " I know. The doctors looked at your medical records and there was no indication you'd been to a doctor recently. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this. But the good thing is that you're expected to make a full recovery. You're going to need to take at least a week off to rest. "

 

CJ nods, feeling overwhelmed by a mixture of difficult emotions. " Danny…I…I didn't know."

 

"I know," Danny reiterates. " I believe you."

 

"I'm sorry," CJ blubbers, tears welling in her eyes. She's stunned and confused and in thirteen kinds of hurt.

 

Danny shakes his head firmly and wraps his hand around CJ's hand, perching on the bed next to her shoulder. " You've got nothing to apologize for."

 

"It…was yours," CJ whispers softly. " Would have been…God…"

 

"Yeah, I figured. You hardly have enough time for me I couldn't imagine you were having an affair." He manages a tiny smile and CJ rolls her eyes. " I know this isn't the right time, so you can tell me to shut up, but how would you have felt if you had…known?"

 

CJ lowers her gaze to the bed. " I don't know. I'm so surprised. We…we never talked about babies."

 

"I know. Did you even want children?" Danny knows he shouldn't be bombarding CJ after she just got out of surgery, but there is so many questions he needs the answers to.

 

"I don't know. I used to think I'd have a family, but recently I haven't even thought…thought about it. I'm getting too old, I just figured I was past that phase. It's…it's too late." CJ leans back against the pillows, her head pounding with the stress of the day.

 

"Apparently it's not yet. If you chose to, you could still have a baby in the next few years. If you got a good doctor, you could still deliver safely." Danny doesn't know why he's telling CJ all this, but she just looks so hurt that he wants to give her some glimmer of hope. 

 

"Really? I don't know. Do…do you want a baby?" CJ meets Danny's clear blue eyes, searching for the truth she knows she will find there. There's nothing she trusts more in the world than his eyes.

 

Danny decides to be fully honest with CJ. If they were about to start a life together, he owed her that much. " I wanted this one. I didn't know until Abbey told me you…you miscarried. I hadn't thought about having kids before, but suddenly thinking about you pregnant…with my baby…well that prospect seems really nice. I love you more than anything in the world, and I would be utterly content living just with you for the rest of my life. But maybe we could have a family…and maybe that would be absolutely incredible."

 

CJ feels her heart melting and a light, elated feeling emanate from within. Danny had never told her that he loves her before. They had never entered that touchy subject before. Yes, they had decided to be together and build a relationship, but no platitudes and declarations of love had been exchanged. She thought she'd be terrified if any man ever used those words with her again. She thought it would send her hiding in her professional accomplishments out of fear of losing her independence. She never wanted to be dependent on a man's affections for her own self worth. But now she realizes she can depend on someone's love and affection without losing her whole identity in them. She doesn't have to be scared to love Danny Concannon anymore. " You…you really mean that?"

 

Danny's eyes mist at his own revelation. He can no longer hide his true feelings. "Yes. I've wanted to tell you how much I loved you for years but I was worried about scaring you off. But I think this is the right time. I'm madly in love with you and I need you to know that now. I'm not expecting some declaration in return. But just know that no matter what happens, I will always be there for you and we will deal with life's trials and tribulations together."

 

CJ's lips lift up in a small smile. " I love you, too. I fought it so hard but I don't want to anymore. I'm sick to death of sublimating my feelings so I can do my job properly. There's nothing standing in our way anymore. In two weeks we won't have to worry about a conflict of interest. I'm through with making up excuses why we can't be happy. I'm actually upset that we had a baby and lost it, but it means a lot to me that you're here."

 

Danny breathes out a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad to hear that. I'm sad about this whole thing, too. But we're gonna make it through this. I promise you." Danny leans forward to drop a gentle kiss to CJ's lips. It isn't the passionate proclamation of love he had imagined, but some how it's enough. There would be plenty of time for passion when CJ's health improved.

 

And almost simultaneously, CJ and Danny break into a series of sobs. Neither know if they are tears of sorrow, joy or relief, but chances are they are a combination of the overwhelming emotions of the day.

 

"Is everything okay? The nurse said she heard a lot of crying." Abbey pokes her head in the room tentatively.

 

Danny steals a look at CJ who nods her consent for Abbey to enter the room. " We're okay. Come in."

 

"I'm so sorry, honey," Abbey gushes as she claims the side of the bed Danny is not sitting on. "How are you feeling?"

 

Danny swipes at CJ's tear tracks and wraps an arm securely around her shoulders.

 

CJ frowns with a tiny shrug. " I'm sore and still in shock, but I got Danny so I'll be fine."

 

Abbey smiles at that and gives her honorary daughter a small hug. "I'm glad he could make it. I debated calling him but eventually decided it needed to be done. Did he explain everything to you?"

 

With a grimace, CJ exhales deeply. " Yes. And even though we didn't know what we had when we had it, we're both a little sad we don't have the baby any more. It's funny because neither of us consciously considered having a baby together, but now all of a sudden the notion doesn't seem that bad. We kinda want a family, but now we don't know if we'll get a child." CJ looks to Danny who indicates that he is in complete agreement on the assessment of their roller-coaster of emotions.

 

"You can try hard and maybe some day God will bless you with a baby. But if not, there are plenty of parentless babies out there and you'd make an excellent candidate for adoption. Don't give up yet. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. There's a purpose to everything, even if we can't fathom it on Earth." Abbey tries to comfort her friends in whatever way she can.

 

"Well, the Lord certainly taketh away today, but maybe He will grace us with a gift in the future," Danny offers with sincere hope.

 

CJ, with a deep breath, nods soundly. "Mrs. Bartlet, can you…can you tell the President what's going on? As soon as I'm released from here I'll be back at my desk."

 

Abbey laughs evilly with a smile. " First, never call me Mrs. Bartlet outside the West Wing. Second, I've fully briefed the President about what's going on and he's issued an executive order to keep you in your bed until you're fully healed. And lastly, don't think that you can just shrug this off and bury yourself in your work. You need to go and spend some time resting at your apartment. You need to deal with all the emotions of today and not try to ignore what happened. You were pregnant and you lost the baby, you deserve the time to heal emotionally and physically."

 

CJ nods to indicate she understands that this isn't just a case of the common cold. "I know. But we've got thirteen days left. I don't want to check out early like everyone else, with the exception of Charlie and the amazingly loyal assistants. I'll go home and get a good rest and then I want to do some teleconferencing. Before we're done, I want to be back at the White House doing my job. I don't want this to be my legacy. I don't even want anyone else to know what happened."

 

Abbey gives CJ's hand a light squeeze. "We'll make sure you go out with a bang. And you don't have to worry about this leaking. Margaret is telling everyone it was just a bad flue bug. You, Danny, myself, the President and Margaret are the only ones who know what happened. It will stay that way unless you want to tell anybody else." 

 

CJ half-smiles gratefully. " Thank you. "

 

"Excuse me," the surgeon interrupts, hovering in the doorjamb. "I'm Theodore Janson, the attending surgeon. How are you feeling, Claudia?"

 

"I'm gonna wait in the other room," Abbey tells them, standing up and sliding out of the room. 

 

"Shocked, a little sore," CJ admits as the doctor checks her chart and reads the results from the monitors attached to her. 

 

"I'm sure you're very surprised, but have you been caught up about what we had to do?" The surgeon is all business as he assesses his patient's status.

 

"Yeah, unfortunately. You did a lapa…laparoscopy?" CJ tries to remember what Danny had called the procedure.

 

The doctor nods curtly. "Yes, ma'am. You were haemorrhaging blood when the paramedics brought you here. After some blood tests and an ultrasound, we discovered you had an ectopic pregnancy in your fallopian tube. In these cases, the body starts to abort the embryo since it has no more room to grow. There was no way to save the baby. These pregnancies can't be brought to term. I'm sorry that we had to do this, but there was no alternative. Our primary objective was to stop the bleeding and prevent damage to your surrounding organs. Once your body has healed, there is still a chance you could carry a normal pregnancy to term. Given your age, it would not be easy, but you if you wanted to work with an obstetrician and fertility specialists, the possibility for having a baby is still there. The choice is entirely up to you. I do want to keep you here for constant monitoring. Once you are released you're going to need to take some time to recover. You'll only have a small incision, but you'll need to take it easy for a while."

 

"Okay. Well, thank you," CJ replies awkwardly.

 

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. A nurse will be checking on you frequently." The doctor picks up his clipboard and makes his way out of the room.

• * *

"Okay, I've got your water and tea and copy of TV Guide." Danny waltzes into CJ's bedroom with a tray of drinks and food.

 

"You know I don't actually have to live in my bed, right?" CJ adjusts herself in the bed and searches for her glasses.

 

"The doctor prescribed bed rest, and that's what you're going to get. Aside from getting up to use the washroom, you're not leaving this room." Danny sets the tray on CJ's lap and perches on the side of her bed.

 

CJ lifts the herbal tea to her lips and takes a sip. "You're such a mother hen. I should have taken Abbey's offer to stay at the Residence. She wouldn't have been this bad, and at least I'd be close to work." 

 

"You're not working. You're going to lie in your bed and eat soup and watch soap operas for the next few days," Danny instructs CJ, arranging her pillows behind her back.

 

"I promised I'd take it easy, but no one mentioned watching T.V. in the middle of the day. Can you hand me my briefing books on the dresser?" CJ points across the room.

 

"No. The President told you not to work for a few days." Danny stands firm, grabbing the remote off CJ's nightstand and flicking on the television set mounted to the wall of her room opposite the bed. 

 

"There's a conference call between the Chinese and Russians I want to be on tomorrow. I've got to make sure a nuclear war doesn't break out over oil. Please hand me my binder or I'll get up to retrieve it myself," CJ tells him sternly, ready to push herself out of the bed.

 

"Claudia Jean," Danny grits between his clenched jaw.

 

"Daniel," CJ replies between her own teeth. 

 

"Okay, a compromise?" Danny offers with his hands up in surrender. He was sent by the First Lady to keep a close eye on their patient, and he wouldn't be able to keep his promise to Abbey Bartlet if CJ kicked him out of her apartment. 

 

"What?" CJ's brows rise challengingly.

 

"If you relax in bed for a few hours, you can read your memos for one hour. You can take the teleconference tomorrow if you promise me not to do anymore work the rest of the day." At CJ's look of protest, Danny continues. " Come on. Work with me, CJ. The doctors wanted you take off a full seventy-two hours before doing some work from home. The President wants you to rest up. I'm sayin' you can do an hour of work today and two hours tomorrow. I'm trying to make you feel better, mostly because not doing work will cause you more stress than doing nothing."

 

CJ seems to be considering the offer as she halts her stare-down. "Fine. But what am I gonna do now?"

 

Danny smiles warmly and wraps an arm around CJ, climbing onto the bed beside her. " Well, I thought I'd make some soup for dinner. I brought over some chicken stock and fresh vegetables from my apartment. But we can sit and watch some television and talk for the afternoon."

 

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" CJ asks with a sly smile.

 

"Nope. I'm done work as of three days ago. My only job now is nursing you back to health," Danny tells her with a flirty smirk.

 

"All right, but if you're gonna be my nurse I'll have to insist on a sponge bath later," CJ responds with a fake coy smile. 

 

"Oh, I suppose that could be arranged," Danny replies with sarcastic show of lack of enthusiasm,

 

• * *

"You need anything?" Danny inquires, reaching his right hand over to hold CJ's right one. He is lying next to her in the bed, but on top of the duvet.

 

"Nope. You know what I've realized today?" CJ takes a small sip of the juice in her other hand. Danny has been pushing the fluids all day long. He got her to eat some soup and drink herbal tea, water and juice.

 

"Mmm?" Danny leans back against his pillow. He had just finished cleaning the kitchen after their small dinner. So far the day had been going well. He had managed to get CJ to rest (she even took a nap) while also providing her enough breathing space so she wouldn't feel like she was still back at the hospital.

 

"I am never going to retire. Seriously. If this T.V. programming is what I'll have to keep my days occupied, I have good reason to keep busy for the rest of my life. I absolutely hate this. T.V sucks today." CJ shakes her head as she flicks through the stations. Danny had banned CNN and CSPAN, so she isn't allowed to let the remote settle on those channels.

 

Danny chuckles in agreement. " Yeah, well thankfully there are numerous other entertainment venues for us to enjoy over the next few months without work."

 

"Yeah," CJ whispers. " How…is this…building a life thing gonna work?"

 

"What do you mean?" Danny seeks clarification.

 

"I mean…what do we do next? I'm probably going to need to move to California to set up the Hollis Foundation. Are you going to keep your apartment in Georgetown and will we travel back and forth on weekends or whatever?" CJ probably wouldn't have asked Danny this if she wasn't going to be locked in her apartment with him for the next few days. She figures they might as well use their time to figure out their next steps.

 

"Well, we could do that," Danny concedes with a small nod. " But I was thinking I could follow you to California. There's nothing really keeping me here. Most of my writing I can do from anywhere. I'll need to fly to New York to meet with my publisher and make trips to New Hampshire to see the President, but there's no reason why I can't move to California." 

 

CJ tilts her head in surprise. "You want to move to California with me? Danny, I don't want you to do something you don't want to just because of me. I don't want you to ever resent…"

 

Danny stops her with a finger to her lips. " Never. I will never resent you. I'm am so ready to be with you full-time now. We've waited so long to be together and create a life like a normal couple. There's nothing I want more than to live with you."

 

"You wanna live together?" CJ asks, again a little surprised. 

 

"Yeah, of course. Do you not want that?" Danny is afraid he over-estimated their plans for the future. He assured CJ that they could wait until after the Inauguration to discuss their future plans. He doesn't want to scare her off now. 

 

"Yes, it's just…I haven't lived with a man since Ben back in college. I'm not used to sharing my life with another person," CJ admits painfully. "I don't wanna mess this up." Her voice indicates that she does want to live with him, she's just terrified of screwing it up. Danny had waited so long for her and she doesn't want his efforts to have been in vain. He deserves a woman who can love him properly.

 

Danny smiles encouragingly and drops a gentle kiss to CJ's parted lips. " We're gonna get good at new things." 

 

With a shaky inhalation of air, CJ nods as confidently as she can. " Yeah, we will. So... we're moving to California?"

 

Danny beams at the conclusion. "Yes. And actually, once you return to the office next week if you're feeling better, I could fly to California and look for some houses near the Hollis Inc. headquarters. That way you won't have to deal with the stress of finding a place to live as soon as you're finished your job."

 

CJ has to smile at that idea. " A house? You're gonna look for a house for us to live in? Like…like normal people?"

 

Danny laughs deep in his throat before hugging CJ closer. " Yeah. I'm sick of apartments. I don't wanna be a bachelor anymore. It's time we got a real home. Who knows, maybe one day we won't be the only ones living in it?"

 

CJ laughs lightly. "You're thinking we'll have termites?"

 

Danny revels in the sound of CJ's laughter, glad she's found her sense of humour again. He had missed the sound of her joking around. " I was thinkin' maybe we'd have children."

 

CJ's face falls instantly. " Danny, I know the doctor said I could still have a baby, but I don't want you to get your hopes up. I'm forty-four years old and have been on the Pill for like twenty years. It might not happen. So if you're moving in with me so we can some day have a family together, then maybe we shouldn't do this. I don't know if that will happen. I don't want to disappoint you."

 

Danny's face contorts in pain. He doesn't want CJ to think that is the only reason he loves her. " You'll never disappoint me. I'm not spending my life with you just to have children. I want to move in together because I love you and don't want to spend my days and nights without you. Even if we never had a baby, I would be insanely in love with you. We'll be happy just to have each other. But if you want, we'll look at all the options-fertility specialists, artificial insemination, surrogacy, adoption…whatever. It's totally up to you. But I'll be happy with just you." 

 

CJ smiles faintly, a little shy. "Really?"

 

"Definitely," Danny whispers with the sweet smile that melts CJ's heart. 

 

"Okay. So, we're gonna move to a house in California?" CJ states this slowly, letting it all sink in.

 

Danny nods confidently. "Yeah."

 

CJ leans into Danny's shoulder with a deep, relaxing sigh. They were going to be just fine.


End file.
